Wednesday, 6 August 2008

Between the Devil and the Deep Blue Sea

It is always easier to hear an insult and not respond, than to have the courage to engage in combat with someone stronger than yourself.

Paulo Coelho, The Devil and Miss Prym

At last post, I wanted very much to put into words the feelings, sensations and sadness of the last few weeks.

A seismic shift is occurring in my life. My natural instinct was to write, the cathartic process of typing and seeing the words that has always helped me feel the feelings, the frustrations, then cleanse and remove the unnecessary.

While I did indeed engage in necessary combat, in the end, what is there really to say, about soul collectives so entrenched in beliefs, attitudes and practices essentially past their sell-by date? They must go their own way.

The single lasting impression though, is how long I allowed troubled energies to vibrate exhaustingly too close, despite knowing better.

What does that say about me? My road to realisation has had some big bumps. But it's shown me the money so to speak, of the far from noble journey I am on. The path doesn't come filled with conventional beauty. It is instead, in the early part, dark, dirty, combative and hazy.

My vision is clearing, but not without some sorrow at my own self-imposed stupidity. This I will let go of, when I am ready.

I still stand firmly by my belief in the greater self and what this is really connected to. It is all our journeys. But we must be courageous and above all present, to face our now first.

Free yourself from all those wretched ideas, from that mania for explaining everything and only doing what others will approve of.

Paulo Coleho, By the River Piedra I Sat Down and Wept


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